No family = doldrums

Yesterday was pretty bad. Friday was our LARP (the changeling game), and it was great fun, but I always feel a bit run down on the day after. It takes energy to LARP, and more to run one. I've been having bouts of depression, and yesterday I just felt like going back to bed. Didn't really want to do anything, but desperate for company.

Today, I feel better in general, but I don't know what to do with myself. It's Christmas Eve, after all. I feel like I should be out carolling, but I don't have anybody besides the husband to go do it with. I should have gone to church, but didn't sleep well for half the night, so overslept this morning. And anher has the midnight watch tonight, so if I go to one of the midnight masses the local churches offer, I'm going alone.

There are all sorts of gifts under the tree. Our families have showered presents and cheer upon us as best they can from afar. Right now, though, I want to be with people, with hot cider or chocolate and singing and time spent out walking around.

We're out of milk. I should see if I can run out and get some before everything closes.

Amid the cold of winter

Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming (warning: link has embedded music)

Lo, how a Rose e’er blooming from tender stem hath sprung!
Of Jesse’s lineage coming, as men of old have sung.
It came, a floweret bright, amid the cold of winter,
When half spent was the night.

Isaiah ’twas foretold it, the Rose I have in mind;
With Mary we behold it, the virgin mother kind.
To show God’s love aright, she bore to men a Savior,
When half spent was the night.

The shepherds heard the story proclaimed by angels bright,
How Christ, the Lord of glory was born on earth this night.
To Bethlehem they sped and in the manger found Him,
As angel heralds said.

This Flower, whose fragrance tender with sweetness fills the air,
Dispels with glorious splendor the darkness everywhere;
True Man, yet very God, from sin and death He saves us,
And lightens every load.

O Savior, Child of Mary, Who felt our human woe,
O Savior, King of glory, Who dost our weakness know;
Bring us at length we pray, to the bright courts of Heaven,
And to the endless day!

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In the depths of depression, the usually cheerful songs in the shopping malls gain only a ghost of a smile; but the old hymns that tell of hope and the promise of life in winter can keep the demons at bay.