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When I was a teenager, my dad was the Conference Scouting Coordinator and head of the local NAUMS chapter and all sorts of things Scouting related. This was still a pretty new thing, so he was building groups and coalitions and having lots of meetings with folks. I came along on a lot of these, as I've always loved Scouting as well, and I found a role in the melee.
One thing was that, while the Boy Scouts were officially the Boy Scouts of America (BSA), the Girl Scouts were not the Girl Scouts of America (GSA). They were the Girl Scouts of the United States of America (GSUSA). Being a teenager, I found the distinction dumb, and I remarked on it to my dad.
He shrugged the question of how dumb it might be off. The important thing, he told me, is that this is all new to them, too. So, to show that we respect them and want to include them, it's important that we use the right name. We had a lot of Boy Scouts to whom BSA lingo was like breathing, but we needed to be able to show the Girl Scouts that we took them seriously and that they were important to us, too. So we had to learn and use the GSUSA lingo. To do otherwise would be rude, and would shut them out.
And we had to learn to speak Campfire Boys and Girls. And 4-H. Using the right names in the right places meant that they were welcome and important.
Now, I've twice in the past few months said something when somebody used the term 'antichoice', because those people are the sorts of people that I didn't think would want to be outright rude to others. I got nowhere in both conversations.
So, maybe this will explain. In this big social battle that goes on, using the preferred words and lingo used by the other side is like waving a flag of parley. It shows that you are interested in putting aside the fighting for a bit to discuss why we're here and what we expect to get out of this. We might not get anywhere in the discussion, but we can have it.
Using insider terms is like closing your visor and picking up your shield. Using an inflammatory term that is also used by trolls in internet fora is like picking up a sword. Both of these actions signal that you're not really interested in discussion, at least not with me.
And in that case, I'm don't want to fight in Livejournal or Twitter or Facebook or other such places. If fighting is what you want, I'll meet you at the voting booth and we can see which side prevails there.
And please don't make the mistake of thinking that because you don't mean it too horribly, it isn't rude. Imagine telling a room full of gay men that you only use 'fag' to refer to the really flamboyant gay men, and you don't mean the rest of them. You probably won't get a very good reaction from most of the room.
If you don't care about my opinions, that's fine, but be aware of the signals you send by the words you choose.
One thing was that, while the Boy Scouts were officially the Boy Scouts of America (BSA), the Girl Scouts were not the Girl Scouts of America (GSA). They were the Girl Scouts of the United States of America (GSUSA). Being a teenager, I found the distinction dumb, and I remarked on it to my dad.
He shrugged the question of how dumb it might be off. The important thing, he told me, is that this is all new to them, too. So, to show that we respect them and want to include them, it's important that we use the right name. We had a lot of Boy Scouts to whom BSA lingo was like breathing, but we needed to be able to show the Girl Scouts that we took them seriously and that they were important to us, too. So we had to learn and use the GSUSA lingo. To do otherwise would be rude, and would shut them out.
And we had to learn to speak Campfire Boys and Girls. And 4-H. Using the right names in the right places meant that they were welcome and important.
Now, I've twice in the past few months said something when somebody used the term 'antichoice', because those people are the sorts of people that I didn't think would want to be outright rude to others. I got nowhere in both conversations.
So, maybe this will explain. In this big social battle that goes on, using the preferred words and lingo used by the other side is like waving a flag of parley. It shows that you are interested in putting aside the fighting for a bit to discuss why we're here and what we expect to get out of this. We might not get anywhere in the discussion, but we can have it.
Using insider terms is like closing your visor and picking up your shield. Using an inflammatory term that is also used by trolls in internet fora is like picking up a sword. Both of these actions signal that you're not really interested in discussion, at least not with me.
And in that case, I'm don't want to fight in Livejournal or Twitter or Facebook or other such places. If fighting is what you want, I'll meet you at the voting booth and we can see which side prevails there.
And please don't make the mistake of thinking that because you don't mean it too horribly, it isn't rude. Imagine telling a room full of gay men that you only use 'fag' to refer to the really flamboyant gay men, and you don't mean the rest of them. You probably won't get a very good reaction from most of the room.
If you don't care about my opinions, that's fine, but be aware of the signals you send by the words you choose.
